In growing older, moving away, and entering relationships, developing friendships becomes increasingly more difficult. The workplace is an excellent path to meeting new people, and so is being outgoing and attending local events. Yet, what about people we aren’t as antiquated with the social nuances of simple small talk?

Even being surrounded by so many others, a person can feel lonely. I’ve struggled to maintain the relationships I’ve had with current friends while also finding couples that can work my marriage. With adulthood encroaching and the daily stress of responsibility, it’s easy to get swept into the mundane.

As I’ve aged, I’ve found myself reaching out to those I’ve disconnected with and abandoned for selfish reasons. Misinterpretation of betrayal and the guilt of being a bad friend had led me to distance myself from those who cared. The only thing I could do was apologize and hope for some understanding.

When meeting new people, I’ve found the harder you search, the less you’ll find. There have been women I’ve met who I thought we could be friends, and yet nothing came of that. There have been others who I assume like me, but I can’t find the energy to get out of the house. I’m constantly between wanting to run away and finding myself craving the social company of someone I can be around. It’s a frustrating matter.

Finding friends doesn’t always mean searching. Sometimes, you’ll go to an event and met a complete stranger that you click with. Sometimes, you need to make the first step. I’ve overwhelmed others with the way I want to get in there 100%. In my experience, it’s a lot like dating, without the romance. Like some, I waited for people to come to me. Now, I try to engage in conversation with anyone who’s willing to converse.

I’m still not as good as I should be in keeping up with communicating with people from the past. But I’ll always have fond memories of my personal encounters, and I hope that they will too.

Posted by:Flora Ashe

Editor in Chief

9 replies on “Finding Friends in 2019

  1. I absolutely love this. It’s very true. Small talk is a thing of the past with internet being the center of our lives. If you ever need small talk and old friends, I’m around the corner.

  2. Hello, “FloridaGirl!” Thank you for visiting JanBeek today and reading my poem about those fabulous friends who stick by us and reach out when we need them. It certainly fits this blog you posted on ways to find friends in 2019, doesn’t it? In an earlier blog, you quoted, “You only fail when you quit trying.” And you went on to say, “If you keep working at it, then one day, you’ll be where you want to be.” It’s a life-long process. I have found in my nearly 80 years on this earth that I never can really, fully believe that I have “arrived.” I am where I am. I am trying to live in and appreciate the PRESENT, and know what a present it is, but I never stop striving to “Be what He made me to be.” Friends come and go – some for a season, some for a life-time, all for a reason. My mom always told me, “To have a friend, you must be a friend.” That is a simplistic statement – but there is so much truth in it! The idea of engaging “in conversation with anyone who’s willing to converse,” is a great way to initiate a friendship. You never know where the conversation will lead. Just be yourself, be open, be a concerned, caring listener, and let God take care of whether that is a relationship meant to last or not! Some do. Some don’t. Don’t sweat it! Thanks for visiting JanBeek. Come again! I’m here for you. <3

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