goals

Chasing Daydreams

Occupational, Psychology

All of us have a dream or vision of what we want to achieve or who we want to be. Before the kids and marriage, before the real world forces you to face the grueling truth of what it takes to live. Making that dream a vision and turning it into reality takes work.

When you have a dream, you fantasize about the things you want to happen now. Tomorrow, you want to wake up, look in the mirror, and see a version of yourself that you love. Your parents teach you to dream, the world tells you to dream, but when you hit the real world, you get stuck in monotony and mediocrity. You feel guilty you’re not working toward your goal, you feel lazy you’re stuck in one place, so you put your dream off till a better time and the cycle continues without you changing a thing.

“Man, alone, has the power to transform his thoughts into physical reality; man, alone, can dream and make his dreams come true.”

Napoleon Hill

“Lose your dreams and you might lose your mind.”

Mick Jagger

After a while, the pressure from your family, friends and society wears you down and you tell yourself, that it’s okay to give up on your dream. That you’re happy with where you’re at, that sometimes you have to know when to give up. Why do we give up on ourselves? Whether your dreams are big or small, their worth pursuing. In striving for your dreams, here are a few reminders:

  • Stop comparing yourself to others. It’s difficult, we all do it. When you see a person of similar age and opportunity whose reached the success you’ve always wished for, you either wonder how they were able to achieve so much while you weren’t, or believe they don’t deserve it. Instead, change the way you view them, use them as inspiration or healthy competition.
  • Make a decision and stick with it. My dream is to be a published author. Throughout my college career and current adult life, I’ve had people suggest a repertoire of things I could do. I admit I get suck into these deviations and wonder who I would be if I followed a different path. Despite the fact that your loved ones may not approve or even share the same enthusiasm you have for your dream, don’t let that sway you.
  • Keep at it, positively. Working toward the vision you see for your future is a treacherous road riddled with obstacles to stop you. At times, it’ll feel like the entire world is conspiring against you. Finding the motivation and time for your goals between the mundane tasks of daily life can feel impossible. Look yourself in the mirror and tell the doubt that you will be who you want to be.

I haven’t achieved yet the vision I have for myself, and still there are times I wonder, what’s the point? The point is that this is for me. This is who I want to be. I don’t want to be old an regret not going after something because I didn’t want to play the game of life. If you keep doing what you want to do, you’ll eventually find success. Like Eli Young Band sings, “Keep on dreaming even if it breaks your heart.”

Conquering Procrastination

Occupational

Guilt is the causing element for putting off things that need to be done. People avoid doing the things that will benefit them the most by distracting themselves with errands that don’t hold any meaning. For instance, someone may spend their day cleaning instead of working on the project they had promised themselves to finish. It’s as though procrastinating as an adult is easier than as a kid.

In school, students put off studying or writing a paper until the night before. Still, they finished it. As an adult, there are no deadlines for personal goals and aspirations. It’s up to the individual to make whatever dream they want, happen. Most would think that the freedom of adulthood would allow dreams to be met with full force.

Something else happens. As a grown-up, there aren’t teachers and parents breathing down one’s shoulder. Without that pressure, uncertainty  overtakes the person wishing to achieve the impossible.

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Here, a healthy person, with a sound mind, finds almost anything else to do than their own deepest desires, as if they believe that dreaming alone will make wishes come true. So instead of doing, they fear risk of failing, not even trying. Then comes in guilt, and no one wants to feel guilt. Guilt is a transferable emotion. Instead of taking responsibility for laziness, blame the spouse, kids, or parents. It’s everyone else’s fault.

Coming full circle, procrastinating one’s life goals is more dangerous as an adult than as a child. It’s difficult for some to accept that part of themselves. As the narrators of our own lives, we tend to think of our own self as a perfect protagonist, flawless and good. Yet, we are human.

Procrastination isn’t an action, it’s a feeling. One must accept their feeling in order to move past it. No matter how many times you’re told, it’s never too late. Don’t put off going after what you want. There will always be an excuse. Just go after it. Be who you want to be. Stop dreaming. Start doing.

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Working on Strength and Weakness

Health

When we’re asked what our strengths are, we immediately consider what we’re good at, yet just because we’re good at something doesn’t mean it’s our strength. A strength is something that you do because you thoroughly enjoy it, time passes by without looking at the clock. Let’s say, you’re good at Excel and Office software. It doesn’t mean your strength is in Excel and Office, that’s simply a skill.

Strengths can take time and you may not immediately be good at them, but they are something that you love. Most resolutions and goals centralized around working on weakness. For instance, “I’m not that outgoing, I’m going to work on talking to more people.” We focus on the weakness and at some point, we can be proficient in them, but if it isn’t something we do like to do, it can be draining and we’re constantly wondering when it’ll be over.

It doesn’t matter where you are in life, it’s time to stop suffering. Many of us go through job after job, searching in what we know. Each day, it wears down, taking a piece of us with it until we become a angry at the world, perpetually unhappy and mean.

You can be mediocre at many things, or proficient in a couples things you’re passionate about. Work on your weakness, but focus on your strength. Split your time: 30% on weakness, and 70% on strength. Take the time out of your day, write out your interest, delve into your dreams, figure out if what you’re doing now is what you really want to be doing. If so, keep at it. If not, change it.

We are all born in the land of opportunity. We should take advantage of that. Sure, it’s scary to change a career or to move to a different state, but if you keep waiting until the right chance to make your own way, it’ll never come. There will always be a reason not to do something.

We all deserve to go after what we want in life, despite what others tell us we should or should not do. We’re in control of our life, and we dictate the outcome. Any path we take to achieving out goals is going to have challenges along the way, but it’s all worth fighting for. Our future is worth fighting for.