You Do You

Philosophy, Social

Persistence is key in following the path to success, but along the way, you may put too much value on others for guidance. Whenever you’re unsure of something, rather than trying it yourselves, you’ll ask others for advice or assistance. You forget, however, that despite their knowledge in wisdom, the situation of others differs from your current state and you must try things your own way in order to know what’s best.

There are only so many hours in a day, and days in a year to accomplish everything you’ve ever wanted. Most days, all you want to do is forget the world and avoid your personal responsibilities. It’s easy to judge others because it distracts you from your own faults. You care about what others think, and how to present yourself. You don’t allow yourself to try your way due to the risk of failing.

“What one person considers to be true about you is not necessary the truth about you, and if you give too much power to others’ opinions, it could douse your passion and confidence, undermining your ability to ultimately succeed.”

Five Ways To Make Peace With Failure by Susan Tardanico

For example: I’ve never golfed in my life, and recently, my husband has been learning how. We went to the range. I’ve never been good at sports, so naturally my expectation for myself was low. My husband gave me some tips on how to stand, hold the club, and how to hit. I’d go through the whole process in my head: straightening my back, breathing deep, and keeping everything else in check. And of course, I’d miss.

The heat was peaking on a Saturday afternoon. There weren’t many others there besides us. Suddenly, something inside snapped. I cared so much about doing things right and not embarrassing myself, I hindered my own ability to do better by not fully trying. I let go of my insecurities. I pulled the club back with the twist of a hip on an inhale. Then, swinging with exhale, and I hit the ball, straight. A sense of accomplishment rushed over me and I accepted that I was indeed capable of doing it. I still missed many shots, but when I was able to do it correctly, I did it right.

After our practice that day, I learned something about myself. Because I cared so much about not letting myself fail in front of others, I was too afraid to try. I didn’t trust myself or my own ability. Isn’t that something we all do? You don’t want to pursue your dream because you don’t want to make a fool of yourself in front of others. You want to fit in, even subconsciously.

Stop caring and be self-reliant.

“People who act with self-reliance feel more in control of their environment, and feeling this way is an important ingredient of well-being. […] Being self-reliant means doing things for yourself. “

How to Let Go of the Need to Be Perfect By Ilene Strauss Cohen Ph.D.

There are certain things in life to care about, like family and friends, but most things in life don’t require that attention, especially negative things. Take all those negative thoughts that are buried in your subconscious and push them out. Don’t dwell in your mistakes, regret your decisions, or fear your failure. It can be difficult. We are human and it is in our nature to questions and probe, especially our own rationale.

Often, you allow ourselves to care too much about the opinions of others. You let them decide what’s best for you because they must know what they’re doing. They’ve lived longer and have a certain level of success you find admirable, so when it comes to trying something outside your expertise, you look to others. You forget that although their situation may have been similar, it’ll never be the same as yours.

Do what you want and don’t apologize for doing what’s best for you. Of course, that doesn’t mean to be malicious and do wrong upon others for your own benefit. Rather, when you stop caring so much about pleasing others and being perfect at what you do, you’ll succeed.

Success: A State of Mind

Metaphysical, Occupational

Going after one’s dream is a difficult journey, taken by the brave. Filled with obstacles and naysayers, doubt will always surround your vision. It takes mental strength to persevere and stick with your passion. Fortunately, we are in the right place and time to make our goals happen.

“Success is a state of mind. If you want success, start thinking of yourself as a success.”

American psychologist Joyce Brothers 1927-2013.

When we were children and asked what we wanted to do when we grew up, we all had an answer. Even if it isn’t something that interests you now, you had a dream and a passion. As we grow and transition into adulthood, our dreams slowly get placed on the back burner while we take care of everyday priorities.

Most of us still try to be who we want to be, achieving what we’ve always imagined we could. It just gets harder to do so. Over the years and layers of responsibility, our perception of dreams changes from being the future to unrealistic.

Use the Law of Attraction

The Law of Attraction is the theory that your thoughts and desires will eventually turn to reality. If you think positive thoughts about your goals, you will in turn be guided to find the ways to achieve them. If you think negatively about your aspiration, they won’t come to life the way you want them to.

“A large part of the Law of Attraction is learning how to be an open, happy person who vibrates on a high frequency and induces a positive response in others. The way in which we spread good attitudes toward other people and attract kindness, generosity and success can be partly explained with reference to mirror neurons—neurons that ‘mirror’ the behavior we observe.”

6 Science Facts That Prove That The Law Of Attraction Exists By Katherine Hurst

Throughout history, this notion has been deemed true. What goes around comes around, you get what you put our there, etc. Here are some tips to help in reframing your successful mindset.

  • Set Realistic Goals: We, as people, can get carried away with our extravagant goals. I’m going to lose 30lbs, I’m going to write a book. I’m going to make six figures. Dreaming big keeps us motivated because we love to fantasize. To make it reality, we need to outline and take reasonable steps to reach our large dreams.
  • Remain Positive: We’re all afraid of getting our hopes up only for out deepest desires to be denied by the world. Keeping a realistic perspective doesn’t mean sacrificing hope. Put what you want out there in the world, and you will received it.
  • Make Time for Yourself: Going after what you want in life can be time consuming and demand lots of attention. You have to figure out juggling this while dealing with all the other joys life has to offer. Don’t forget to take a moment for yourself, a day or weekend, we all need to take a break once in a while.
  • Find Your Support Network: Metaphysical poet, John Donne (1572-1631) said, “No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.” Whether it’s family or friends, we all have someone who loves and supports us. Cherish and thank them every so often.

What defines success: money, love, fame? Ultimately, success is what you envision your life to be. It’s about being who you want to be and go after what matters most to you. Find your success and keep working for it.