Lan wouldn’t have tried on those jeans if she hadn’t stumbled upon her former favorite pair while rummaging for activewear in the closet. She was fully aware that she had gained at least 20 kilograms since giving birth. Nevertheless, on a whim, she decided to give them a shot. With a deep breath, she attempted to zip them up, but the unforgiving waistband refused to budge. Sighing, she conceded defeat and removed the jeans.
            As she stared into the mirror, Lan was confronted with the image of her sagging breasts and protruding belly, a stark contrast to the slim body and long legs she once had before pregnancy. She used to fit into a size small, but now even a size L felt uncomfortably snug. A closer look in the mirror revealed rough and dull skin, cheeks covered in spots, and an overall appearance of exhaustion. She no longer resembled the vibrant, well-dressed girl of her pre-pregnancy days.
            In her son Dong’s Taekwondo class, Lan crossed paths with Yue, an energetic mother, and their conversation revealed that Yue was an avid marathon enthusiast. Knowing Lan’s past enthusiasm for running during her college days, Yue extended an invitation to participate in a 4km race just a week later. Lan harbored dreams of matching Yue’s vitality, but the unyielding jeans were a brutal reality check.
                        After changing into her pajamas that night, Lan walked into the living room, only to find Ming engrossed in his phone on the sofa. “Shouldn’t you be reviewing addition and subtraction with Dong?”
            “I’ve let him work on it by himself, and I’ll check his progress later,” Ming said.
            Lan’s tone grew louder and more strained as she questioned, “Are you sure he’ll stay focused on his studies?”
            “I’ll find out once I check his homework.”
            “I handle all the housework, the school run, and tutor him daily. I work from home, doing everything a full-time mother does. Why can’t you take on tutoring duties for just one evening?” Her voice had risen to a hoarse crescendo, and tears streamed down her cheeks.
            Dong, caught in the crossfire, approached his mother. “Mom, what did I do wrong? Why are you so upset?”
            Lan barked, “Go back to your room and focus on your studies!” Dong burst into tears, seeking solace in his mother’s embrace. Lan knelt down, held Dong close, and patted his back. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have lost my temper.”
The mother and child embraced while Ming continued his TikTok binge-watching session.
           

            The next day, Lan cleared her balcony of clutter and set up a treadmill for her training. Even with only a few days of preparation, when she and Yue participated in the 4K race, she felt physically drained. However, by pushing through her physical limits, she stumbled upon the long-lost feelings of relaxation and happiness.
            Determined to reclaim her passion for running, she declared to Ming, “Every night, you must care for Dong for two hours. If you’re pressed for time, find a babysitter. I need to go for a run.”
            “High-intensity exercise might not be suitable for you at this stage of life,” Ming said.
            “I’m the best judge of what’s right for my body.”
            From then on, she could be found running at the stadium near her home. On rainy days, she relied on the treadmill. Slowly but surely, she progressed from 4 kilometers to 8, then 10 kilometers, and ultimately an impressive 20 kilometers.
            During her runs, Lan relished the sensation of air gliding through her fingertips, the rhythmic beat of her heart, and the temporary relief from her worries and anxieties, almost like a meditative experience. After each sweaty session, she felt invigorated and empowered.
            Half a year later, she boldly signed up for her first half marathon. With excitement, she told Dong, “Mom is heading to another city to compete in a long-distance race.”
            Dong clapped and cheered. “You can do it, Mom!”
            Like a child anticipating a trip to an amusement park, Lan’s excitement was palpable as she prepared her travel essentials.
            During the half-marathon, she experienced a heart-pounding pulse, her circulation operating at maximum capacity. However, she refused to give in to exhaustion. With each step, a wave of energy coursed through her. The thrill of running enveloped her, and she felt a sense of rejuvenation.
            Feeling ten years younger and brimming with energy, she couldn’t resist the urge to chase that feeling over and over again. Upon returning home, she frequently experienced a profound sense of fulfillment that empowered her. Lan decided to take on the challenge of a full marathon.
            During this period, she allowed her child to grow independently. No longer was she the mother who revolved around her son, except for work. She reminded herself that Dong would mature, and it was her duty to encourage his self-reliance. Unexpectedly, her relationship with Dong grew stronger. He no longer needed to tiptoe around her moods, as her temper had improved.
            Lan simplified her approach to housework, abandoning the obsession with daily floor cleaning and preparing different dishes every day. With Ming playing a more active role in their son’s care, her dissatisfaction with her husband had considerably subsided. Lan now pursued what she wanted and refrained from complaining.
            A year later, she faced her first marathon with unwavering determination. She pushed herself until her muscles and bones screamed in protest. The desire to give up was strong, but Lan persevered. Gravity seemed to release its hold on her weary legs, and running felt almost like floating. Recollecting the race later, she only remembered the beautiful scenery along the route. Despite her exhaustion, she reveled in the euphoria of accomplishment.
            Lan resolved to participate in a long-distance running competition every year. She discovered that sports not only extended her life but also helped her embrace her true self.

Huina Zheng either writes as an admission coach at work, or writes for fun after work.