I remember my lies, sir.
The quotes I stole.
That’s the reason for the dimness of my eyes,
the emptiness inside me.

I lie, yes, sir
then I write them down here, without care.
I call them “things I do” but
“lies I told”
I should call them.

You’re trying to help.
But I doubt that, too.
I don’t want your praise, no.
How long will this rose-smelling pool last?
I’m drowning, don’t you understand?
I hate the words
Don’t you say anything, I hate them.

It doesn’t work.
It does not.
I’m still an idiot,
still useless.
And that’s why, I think, whatever I do
is useless.

They’ll ask…
Let them ask.
I won’t hide anything this time.
I want them to see my
foolery.

I lie, yes, sir.
I
lie
“deeper
as
the
time
passes.”

---

Hamdiye Etlan is the author of the book “Do You Know What Columbus Has Gone Through?” He writes about culture, environment, and AI. His work recently appeared on The Adelaide Literary Magazine and The Wink Report.